


Brooklyn, Brooklyn

by FeralCreed



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bedtime lullaby, Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:43:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4506441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralCreed/pseuds/FeralCreed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve comes to Bucky's door after an argument. Feels follow as Bucky has a little breakdown and Steve of course has a heart too big for his own good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brooklyn, Brooklyn

Steve knocked on Bucky's door and stepped back to lean against the opposite wall of the hallway. Bucky slept lightly when he was alone, and he'd come to the door if he wanted to socialize. Otherwise he'd stay quietly to himself and Steve would move on to doing something else, sometimes coming back in a few hours with food or the offer of a walk. This morning the door opened without any sign of the man behind it, just the sound of a few murmured words letting him come in. Steve pushed it open lightly, eyes blinking as he searched the dim room. After their argument last night, he hadn't been sure that he'd be allowed to come in.

Bucky had already retreated to the corner of the room, sitting on an old-fashioned chair big enough for him to curl his legs up beside him. The fabric covering the cushions was threadbare in a few places and stained in several more, but Bucky had refused to take any other chair in the decrepit item's place. Steve still couldn't quite figure out where he'd gotten it from, but he'd become used to it. There wasn't much in the room besides mismatched furniture that looked as if it were twenty years old, held together with duct tape, or both. Tony Stark had offered to redo the entire place in new belongings that didn't look so hazardous, but Bucky had stubbornly refused every offer.

"May I sit down?" Steve asked. Bucky nodded, keeping his eyes fixed somewhere on the arm of his chair, and Steve crossed the room to the bed. He sat down facing the chair and let his gaze wander across Bucky's face, the slope of his jawbone and the way his mouth professed his feelings. There were no sounds in the room except the distant grumble of traffic, heard only because of the utter absence of any other noise. "Oh, Bucky," Steve said, absolute misery filling his voice.

Bucky flinched at the sudden noise and tried to bury himself further into the back of his chair, his gaze moving to a dark corner of upholstery by his hips. "I'm sorry," he whimpered. "I'm sorry," he repeated, desperate to be believed. "I don't know what I did wrong, I don't!" He pulled his knees against his chest and turned his head from Steve, his entire body flinching away.

"Bucky, look at me," Steve pleaded. Bucky's head jerked half an inch in his direction but then his entire body turned away. "Damn it Barnes, just _look_ at me!" As soon as the words left his mouth, Steve regretted it. A shudder rippled across Bucky's frame like he'd been hit across the head with a brick, and he gave the sickly whimper of a kicked puppy. "Oh, I'm sorry," Steve whispered, his shoulders slumping.

"Don't," Bucky said, his voice quiet but wild in terror. "Don't make me go, don't send me back. I can't lose it all again, I can't be a pawn. Let me stay. I'll be better. I promise. Just keep them away from me, and I'll... I'll... Oh, God, please. Just give me somewhere safe." His fingers were pulling at his hair, the dark strands wrapped around flesh and metal. Both eyes were clenched shut and tear tracks stained his face. His hands were trembling against his skull and he shuddered again.

Steve was halfway across the room before he realized he'd stood. Bucky cried out at the touch of a hand on his arm and evacuated the chair, scrambling to flee the room. He blundered against the bed in his haste and fell to his hands and knees on the floor. In moments Steve was beside him, and caught him as he staggered to his feet. Rather than trying to escape again, Bucky burrowed into Steve's embrace and wept into his shoulder. Metal fingers clutched at the shirt on the super-soldier's back, digging at the skin, but Steve just shifted his weight to hold Bucky more comfortably. Their row had evidently attracted someone's attention, as Natasha peeked in the door a few minutes later, but upon realizing how things had ended she slipped away as quietly as she'd come and it Steve doubted that Bucky ever knew she was there.

Even after he'd stopped crying, Bucky stood quietly in Steve's embrace. His head only came up to Steve's shoulders so he rested it there, his temple resting against Steve's collarbone and each breath creating a tiny ripple in the fabric above his chest. The fingers of his left hand laid quietly on Steve's back and his right hand was curled under his chin. A soft, almost sleepy, murmur came from him and he let out a heavy breath like he was preparing to do something difficult. He pulled away but Steve caught his hand in his own and wouldn't let go. Bucky didn't have the emotional strength to fight him about anything and followed him to the bed. Steve sat down, moved over so there would be just enough room for both of them, then pulled Bucky down beside him. Bucky's shoulders were hunched against him until Steve pulled at his shoulder enough to make Bucky fall back against him.

Bucky fit comfortably against Steve's body. It was perfect in the same way as the first flower of spring, the laughter of a child, the smell of fresh bread. Steve pulled the blanket up over Bucky and let him adjust the pillow the way he wanted. He took Bucky's left hand in his own and laid his arm across Bucky's waist, rubbing his thumb in circles across the metal knuckles. Steve propped his head up on his palm and let his chin rest on the top of Bucky's head.

"Go to sleep now, Bucky," he said softly. Bucky shook his head violently. "It's okay," Steve soothed him, searching for something that would reassure him. "I've given you a place that..." His voice cracked on the words and failed, and he was certain he was about to start crying. Somehow he managed to finished his words. "You've- You've found somewhere safe."

Bucky's shoulders were heaving again. Steve wrapped him in a tighter embrace and couldn't help crying himself. Throughout his entire childhood he'd looked up to James Barnes, but now he was falling apart and Steve knew he was barely holding either of them together. His free hand had somehow moved to Bucky's head and was smoothing down his hair, moving in comfortable repetition. How had his mother soothed him back to sleep? Steve remembered a song Sam had shared with him and sang the first part that came to mind. "Ah, Brooklyn, Brooklyn, take me in. Are you aware of the shape I'm in? My hands they shake. My head it spins. Ah, Brooklyn, Brooklyn, take me in. Dumbed down and numbed by time and age. Your dreams to catch the world, the cage. The highway sets the traveller's stage. All exits look the same. "

Eventually Bucky let out a long, slow breath and his body relaxed. His breathing deepened and his clenched fingers loosened. Steve was sure he was asleep, and almost equally asleep himself, as he whispered the end of the song. "Three words that became hard to say. I and Love and You." He wasn't sure if he felt a moment of pressure against his fingers as he slipped into slumber or if he was already dreaming.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Steve sings to Bucky is real - www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0eSpAgqrWo. It's gorgeous and heartbreaking all on its own, but putting it with these two makes it even more so. Hope y'all enjoyed! (And didn't cry too much.)


End file.
